Waste post. It’s just one of those nights again. Well, I haven’t had this kind of night for a while. I hate having fleshbacks of past. I moved on. I am doing perfectly fine, and thankful for my life and everything… I just get it whenever I get into a fight with my mom. Maybe because you were ALWAYS there for me to listen to my vents about my mom after the fights, always made me feel better, and stayed up till I stopped crying and feeling depressed about everything. It’s one of those nights that I want to actually talk to you on the phone and vent about my life and everything I’ve been holding in for past 5 months. It’s really weird… Whenever I get into a fight with my mom and family, first thing that comes in my mind is you. I don’t even know why but you’re just there, and I start getting all these fleshbacks of us. All the stuff you said replays in my head over and over again, and I keep having this thought “What if we were still together…? Our one year is actually coming up in 2 months… and that’s actually crazy. Long distance + one year anniversary?”
I don’t even know what I’m typing. But in other hand, you hurt me so darn much in those months and after. I guess God wants me to learn something from this.
And did I ever mention this dude in my English class look alike you..? Exactly look alike you… He sits 2 sits away from me, but it creeps me out sometimes. He always wears comfortable basketball shorts with high socks, buzz cut, he has exact side view as you, he talks like you, and he exactly act/look alike you… Well he’s bit more chubby but close enough… I get distracted so much in English and I just stare at that kid for most of the time and think if that’s not your cousin or close relative. -_-
